Things I Loved in February

Blog Posts I Loved:

♥ Minimalist Wardrobe FAQ: Common Pitfalls + How To Get Started from Into Mind
♥ Life lessons: Advice from a thirty-something to a twenty-something from Le Blow
♥ Part 1: Why We Should Want To Buy Less from Wanderdust
♥ Travel Diaries 012: The Fairytale Village of Hallstatt, Austria from Bramble & Thorn
♥ Scrapbook Sunday: Elsie's December Daily from A Beautiful Mess

Music I Loved:

♥ Jealous by Nick Jonas

♥ Last Request by Paulo Nutini

♥ Stolen by Dashboard Confessional

♥ Let It Be Me by Ray LaMontagne

♥ Closer to Love by Mat Kearney

♥ 100 Years by Five for Fighting

♥ The Reason by Hoobastank

♥ Elastic Heart by Sia

♥ Sugar by Maroon 5

♥ In My Life by Jake Shimabukuro
♥ Work Song by Hozier

♥ Open Season by High Highs
♥ Deep Focus playlist on Spotify

Videos I Loved:

♥ Chandelier feat. Maddie Ziegler  by Sia
♥ Elastic Heart feat. Shia LaBeouf & Maddie Ziegler by Sia
♥ Dance Moms: Group Dance: Stomp the Yard (S5, E2) from Dance Moms
♥ 100 Years of Beauty in 1 Minute - Episode 1: USA (Nina) by Cut Video
♥ 100 Years of Beauty - Episode 2: USA (Marshay) by Cut Video
♥ 100 Years of Beauty - Episode 3: Iran (Sabrina) by Cut Video
♥ Historically Accurate Disney Princesses by BuzzFeedVideo
♥ Without Question from The Road to El Dorado
♥ Nick Pitera Sings "Belle" From Beauty and the Beast by Oh My Disney
♥ Thinking Out Loud / I'm Not The Only One MASHUP by Sam Tsui & Casey Breves
♥ 3 Easy & Thoughtful DIY Valentines Day/Anniversary Gifts Ideas by ElaineMokk
♥ How-To Pull Off Short Hair. (or something like that) by Arden Rose
♥ Minimal Makeup Routine by Madelynn De La Rosa

Movies/Shows I Loved:

♥ Once Upon a Time
♥ The Road to El Dorado

♥ Dance Moms clips on Youtube
♥ The Walking Dead
♥ Faking It

Things in Life I Loved:

♥ Dancing to the ChaCha Slide and Cupid's Shuffle with Leslie at the bowling alley
♥ Finding a hotel on a special that's on the beach at South Padre (for Spring Break)
♥ Getting ALL into a duet with Thai every time "I'm Not The Only One" came on the radio
♥ Buying tennis and boxing gear (being more active this year!)

♥ Receiving a Toothless stuffed animal from Thai for Valentine's Day
♥ Making a Baymax themed card for Thai for Valentine's Day
♥ A girl ran up to me just to tell me how cute my outfit and I looked
♥ Finding another hat to wear on bad hair days and looking cute in it
♥ Getting noticed in the math club I'm in even though I'm new
♥ Revlon's Colorburst lip balm stain in Honey 

♥ Singing Jealous by Nick Jonas with Leslie
♥ Beautiful sunrises on the drive to work
♥ Feeling comfortable driving by myself
♥ Getting all A's in all my class's first tests

♥ Going on a tennis double date

♥ Going on a picnic double date

♥ Minimalist style and wardrobes

The second half of this month was not the best for me. I found myself starting to really procrastinate on my school work after the first tests, I didn't stick to my diet so therefore haven't lost any more weight than last month, and the weather has been very rainy and cold lately. I don't know what happened. All my motivation and determination on my resolutions went downhill. However, with my diet I felt like I was really depriving myself of satisfying meals. I'd honestly rather eat more of what I want and work it off through exercise like doing tennis or boxing, but this cold, rainy weather has me curled up in front of my computer instead. I haven't been reading as much as I would like to either. But I won't let this setback be my downfall! I will try to work harder in March. Here's to hoping for sunny days! 

Growing Out My Pixie Cut: 2 Months

Wooow! Would you take a look at that mullet! This is my hair growth progress after 2 months. I honestly didn't feel like my hair grew much at all between 1 month and 2 months, but once I compared the pictures, I could definitely notice a difference. Compared to the 0 months photo, I can tell that my hair has grown a good amount in only 2 months. This past month I stuck to using the same shampoo and conditioner I've been using since growing out my hair (Mane 'N Tail). I'm not quite sure how I feel about this product. I still couldn't tell you whether or not this product is actually helping my hair grow faster, but I can tell you one thing, and that is that this product does not help my curly hair texture at all! My hair never felt soft after washing and conditioning, and it may have made it feel worse if anything. Because of this I feel as though my hair was more unmanageable than usual. Another side note is that this product does not lather well, so it felt as though I had to keep squeezing more product out in order to get it all over my hair. I can't imagine how much would have to be used in order to get it to lather over long hair! This next month I will be using a different shampoo and conditioner and we shall see what happens.

Together Let's...Go Bowling!

The next thing that Thai and I did together from our "Together Let's..." list was bowling! This was more of a group hangout rather than a "date" because it was for my friend Leslie's 20th birthday. The bowling alley we went to was called Bowlero and it was pretty awesome. The pins had a black light shining above them which made them look as though they were glowing, neon lights lined the lane, there were screens with many different things playing in the background, and the score screen had hilarious clips between each person's turn! Everyone took silly pictures on the score machine and it would use our faces on funny toons. Some of the guys accidentally put female as their gender and that made some clips even more hilarious! I think one of the best parts of the night was when Leslie danced to the Cha Cha Slide and Cupid Shuffle with me (and Thai attempted to dance as well and looked pretty ridiculous). I would like to go with just me and Thai or more of a double date sometime.

Things I Loved in January

Blog Posts I Loved:

♥ Choose The Person Who Will Follow You Up a Mountain from Wanderdust

♥ Intentional Living // Choosing Your Trajectory from Wanderdust

♥ How to Declutter Your Home for Good from Into Mind

♥ How I'm Embracing a More Minimal Life from Jennypurr

♥ Dream Big, Work Hard, Make it Happen from Jennypurr

♥ An Honest Post on Friendships from From Roses

♥ The Things I Wish I Knew When I Was 18 from From Roses

♥ 6 Things To Do When You’re Seriously Lacking Motivation from Smart Twenties

♥ Surprise 28th from Story of My Life

Music I Loved:

♥ Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars

♥ La La La by Sam Smith

♥ Money On My Mind by Sam Smith

♥ Leave Your Lover by Sam Smith

♥ Chasing the Sun by Hilary Duff

♥ Can I Have This Dance by High School Musical

♥ Five-Hundred Days by AJ Rafael

♥ Something's Gotta Give by All Time Low

♥ Another One Bites the Dust by Queen

♥ Under Pressure by Queen, David Bowie

♥ Summer of '69 by Bryan Adams

♥ Roxanne by The Police

♥ Highway To Hell by AC/DC

Videos I Loved:

♥ Women's Ideal Body Types Throughout History by BuzzFeedVideo

♥ Weird Ways Couples Mess With Each Other by BuzzFeedYellow

♥ Signs You’ve Found Your Sarcastic Soulmate by BuzzFeedViolet

♥ You In The 90s Vs. You Today by BuzzFeedYellow

♥ YOU'RE NOT GAY ENOUGH. by Ashley Mardell

♥ Living in the Moment by Ashley Mardell

♥ "Dear Girlfriend, Will You..." by Ashley Mardell

♥ Yoo Jae Ha - The Covered Up Road (Cover) by Shayne Orok

Movies/Shows I Loved:

♥ Big Hero 6 

♥ How to Train Your Dragon 2

♥ High School Musical Series

♥ Hercules

♥ FRIENDS

Things in Life I Loved:

♥ Going rock climbing for the first time

♥ Deciding to grow my hair out

♥ Learning how to parallel park and driving on the freeway

♥ The perfect, warm weather with beautiful, blue skies lately

♥ Driving with the car windows down on those beautiful days

♥ Revamping my blog template all on my own and feeling so proud of it

♥ Getting through a milestone with Thai that made our relationship stronger

♥ Reaching 10 pounds less than my original weight (although it fluctuates)

♥ Planning to go to South Padre Island with friends for Spring Break

♥ Doing the Baymax fist bump from Big Hero 6 with Thai

♥ Dancing my heart out without caring if I look crazy

♥ Playing tennis with one of my close friends, Leslie

I thought I would give this kind of post a try on here. I was inspired by Amy from catscraftsncritters to start blogging about things that I love or make me happy throughout the month. Every time I read her Weekly Overviews in which she lists the things that she loves during the week, I always feel so happy and inspired by her ability to appreciate the littlest things that she experienced. I want to see myself be more appreciative like that. Before I started typing this post, I honestly did not expect the list to be this long! It actually makes me feel quite wonderful to see just how many things made me happy, intrigued, or inspired throughout the month. I guess sometimes we tend to forget about a lot of the little things. That's why I think that starting something like this is a good idea! Not only can it help you realize all the wonderful little things that happened to you lately, but it can also allow you to look back on those things in the future.

What things did you love in January?

Growing Out My Pixie Cut: 1 Month

Back in May 2014, I made the first big chop on my hair. After having long, curly locks for all of my life, this chop made me feel as though I finally looked like myself—like my hair finally fit me. For the months following, I absolutely loved having short hair and would constantly get trims to keep it that way. On December 20th, 2014, I cut my hair to the shortest it has ever been, and most likely the shortest I would ever go. I believe it was short enough to be classified as a (long) pixie cut. I have never regretted cutting my hair, but now that I have gone the shortest I would possibly go, I feel as though there's nothing more to do. So now it's time for a change. And that change is to start growing my hair out! 

I decided that it would be nice to post the progress of my hair growth on my blog. I didn't have a picture from the back of my head for when I first got it cut, so I just used one that I believed would suffice. I'll make sure that the pictures I take in the future will be from consistent angles.

I'm really happy with how much my hair has grown out in only one month! Unfortunately I feel as though I've already reached the "awkward length" of growing out a pixie cut. I have absolutely no idea what to do with it. It looks nice in the top 1 month picture, but most of the time it looks like an awkward mullet! I especially have no clue what to do with it when it comes to fixing it to for an activity like rock climbing or tennis. What I've been doing is a sort of half pony tail, but even that looks ridiculous because it looks like a little nub of hair sticking out of the back of my head. But there's nothing I can do except to pull through this awkward length!

I've been using Mane 'n Tail ever since I cut my hair on December 20th. Mane n' Tail is a product that was made for horses but many people buy it as well. (Don't worry, they have it in the normal shampoo and conditioner isle). This brand claims to strengthen your hair to reduce breakage. It doesn't claim to help hair grow faster, but a lot of people have recommended this brand when trying to grow out your hair. I guess in the process of strengthening your hair, it also allows your hair to grow to its fullest potential rather than breaking off or splitting. I'm not sure if my hair growth progress is due to this shampoo and conditioner, but this is what I've been using!

Any suggestions for hairstyles at this awkward length? Or have any of you guys tried any products to speed up your hair growth? I'd love to know! 

Together Let's...Go Rock Climbing!

This is my first official post from my "Together Let's..." series!  In the beginning of our relationship, Thai and I came up with a list of things we want to do together, called "Together Let's...". We were always adding new adventures to do together, but with me being a full time student and part time employee and Thai being a full time employee, it always seemed like we never had the time to start crossing things off of this list. This year will be different. To me, quality time in a relationship is vital, so I want to make sure that we set aside time to spend together, no matter how small or extreme that activity may be. These posts will document things that my Thai and I do together, whether that be experiencing completely new and crazy things together to simply cooking a nice dinner in the comfort of our home together. 

The first thing we decided to do was go rock climbing! Now, let me tell you that I have never done this before in my life. I underestimated just how hard it would be. Rock climbing requires you to have a good amount of upper body strength, and the amount that I have is pathetic to none. I always knew that I was afraid of heights, but rock climbing made me realize just how bad my fear actually is. It's not like leaning against the railing of a bridge or looking down from a tall building, because with rock climbing, you have only your own strength to rely on. Because of this fear, I was only able to reach about 2/3 of the wall up once without my legs shaking, my hands getting sweaty, and just becoming overwhelmed with anxiety. Seeing the kids on the walls around me climb with ease...well, it made me feel pretty defeated to say the least. I'm sure I looked pretty pathetic while freaking out and only being about half way up the wall. Thai, on the other hand, was absolutely amazing! He reached the top almost every single time and didn't seem scared at all! Our hands and arms are so sore after doing this. But I could tell that he really enjoyed it, and despite all of my failures, I also had an amazing time and want to go again to try and get better!

My New Year's Resolutions for 2015

1) Get out of the house more | This past 2014 felt like a blur, and not in the good way. When I think back on the year, nothing memorable really stands out to me because it was a kind of uneventful. This year I want to prevent myself from being a hermit and prevent myself from getting into those ruts. In the beginning of my relationship with Thai, we made a "Together Let's..." list, which is basically a list of things we want to do together. There are many things we still have yet to do. I want to be able to cross at least one thing off of that list every month and document those experiences on my blog.

2) Take more pictures | One of the reasons I believe that 2014 was so unmemorable is because I didn't take many pictures (and frankly, I have a pretty bad memory without having pictures to look back on). That's why I want to document my experiences better this year. But not too excessively; I don't want to miss living in a moment because I was so busy trying to capture it. 

3) Read more books | This is another common resolution, but it doesn't make it any less important! There are so many books I've bought in the past year that have just been sitting on my shelf collecting dust. There is a 50 books in one year challenge, but I feel as though it would be too difficult to read that many books with school, homework, work, working out, and also spending more time going out. Instead, I'm going to set my goal to read 25 books this year. That's about two books per month. If you'd like to see books I've read or want to read, click here for my Shelfari.

4) Spend less time on the computer | The good thing about my resolutions is I feel like many of them compliment each other. By getting out of the house, reading more books, and working out I will be able to accomplish my goal of spending less time on the computer. Specifically, I want to stray further away from League of Legends. Although I have loved the game for years, I feel that it is time to start moving on. I realized that a majority of the people in my "gaming life" aren't very positive to have around and aren't really what would be considered friends. I'd rather make other kinds of friends with different interests outside of League once I move to Austin. Not only that, but I feel as though the time I spend playing games could be time better spent doing something else.

5) Get my body to the place I want it to be | After years of trying to "love what I have" but always finding myself falling into insecurity, I want to finally make a change. The first goal I set for myself is to lose 25 pounds. Right now I'm not comfortable with sharing what my starting weight is, but I'm sure when I meet my goal weight that I'll be happy to share. Not only do I want to lose weight, but I also want to get my body healthy along the way by eating at least one fruit and/or vegetable every day and working out. I want to be able to feel confident in my own skin, and this year is the year it will happen.

6) Work on becoming the best version of myself | I want to work on my attitude and reactions. I realize that these two things are really important in affecting the outcome of a situation. If you decide to have a negative attitude toward someone and then react in a hostile way, the situation is bound to go downhill. I want to work on strengthening my relationship by being more loving and understanding. Rather than getting annoyed or lashing out, I want to see myself calmly and openly communicating. I also want to work on my happiness. I never feel good when I'm down and decide to react by writing a negative blog post or text people negative rants. I feel as though doing this is making me dwell on the negatives, and I'd rather focus on spreading happiness rather than negativity. One song that really inspires me to be the best person I could be is the song Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw: "I loved deeper, and I spoke sweeter, and I gave forgiveness I've been denying...Some day I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying."

I've never made a legitimate list of resolutions before, but I decided to do it this year. Ignore those people who talk down on those who make New Year's resolutions and say that no one ever goes through with them. Prove them wrong! You don't have to set extreme goals for yourself—any small step is better than taking none. It may seem as though some of things you want to accomplish are too difficult, but what I like to keep in mind is my favorite quote from my favorite TV show Scrubs: "Nothing in this world that is worth having comes easy." I absolutely love this show. Here's a clip from the episode with the quote; it always hits me hard every time I watch it because it applies to my life in so many ways. You really can do anything you set your heart and mind to. Good luck to everyone out there; I wish you all happiness in this new year.

Book Haul

I was definitely persuaded to buy more than I anticipated with Amazon's 12 Days of Deals in Books for the holidays. I went searching for one book, thinking I would only spend about $10.00 and rather ended up spending $35.90, but I do not regret it. Six books for that total? That's a steal! If you've been looking to buy a book, I'd urge you to buy it now because you'd probably find it for almost half the regular price with Amazon's sale going on right now! There was also a discount code called BOOKDEAL25 that knocked off another 25% off of select books, and because I spent more than $35.00 I got free shipping! If there was a present I would love to receive for the holidays, it would definitely be a book. I love adding to my collection, and I don't think I could ever have too many. Here are the books that I bought and links to them on Amazon:

♥ The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman - $14.99 $9.37 ♥

This was the book that I was initially going to buy alone. It's a self-help/psychology book and it is definitely a more mature book than the young adult books that I usually read. I read a preview of the book online and I was so intrigued, so I knew that I had to buy a hard copy! The author writes about how love has five languages, and the reason many relationships fall apart is because we fail to realize our partner's love language may be different than our own. The five love languages are quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. I don't want to ramble on too much because I plan to write a separate post dedicated to this book once I finish it, but I can already tell that I would recommend it to others in relationships!

♥ The Maze Runner Series by James Dashner - $39.96 $23.98 ♥

I've only read the first book of this series—The Maze Runner—and I absolutely loved it, so I look forward to reading the rest of the series! If you like dystopian books, you'd enjoy The Maze Runner. I feel as though this book is loyal to the dystopian genre, yet it feels fresh. It's not the typical story you'd see of the future government separating society into different groups/districts/factions/occupations in order to maintain control. Does that short description sound like it fits a lot of books all at once? And I'm not bashing the genre; I love my dystopian books and all, but sometimes the stories can get repetitive. That's why I like The Maze Runner: a story about a group of teenage boys and one teenage girl, attempting to escape this maze and figure out who put them into it. It was also made into a movie, which I absolutely loved, unlike another book-turned-movie which I didn't like so much (cough cough, Divergent). The Maze Runner movie had quite a handful of changes, but I still left the theatre feeling completely happy with the changes and how it turned out. I'm looking forward to reading (and watching in 2015) the second book in the series—The Scorch Trials!

♥ Looking for Alaska by John Green - $9.99 $5.99 ♥

Now this book I really only bought because I only needed a few more dollars for the total to be $35.00+ and thus get free shipping, but that's not to say that this book isn't just as good as the others! This book has got to be one of my favorites, especially being that it's the book that got me really into reading. This book introduced me to the world of the young adult book genre. I couldn't remember a time before this that I felt so hooked on a book that I literally did not want to put it down. I related so much to this book and it is definitely a tearjerker, so you may want to have some tissues close by. I've always wanted to read John Green's other books but never got around to it. Perhaps I should have bought a book of his that I have never read before, but I knew I just had to have my own copy of Looking for Alaska. I can't wait to re-read this book!

My Homemade "Charging Station"

Sitting at a desk cramped with two laptop cords, a monitor screen cord, two phone chargers, and a tablet charger, I was beginning to feel a little overwhelmed and crowded. Cords seem to have a way of making even the neatest area look cluttered and messy. I knew I had to do something about this, so I decided that I would need to move some of these monstrous cords elsewhere. However, there was no where else I could charge the phones or tablet besides the one outlet beside my bed, and that didn't seem safe or comfortable to have electronics on the bed when trying to sleep in it. That's when the idea came to me...what if I made some sort of "charging station" for the phones and tablet? I decided to research some things and came across this popular post, where someone made a holder for charging their cell phone out of a lotion bottle. It's a really clever idea; however, I knew that I would need something bigger than a lotion bottle because I was planning to place my 10" tablet inside this thing as well. All of my ideas were a jumbled mess inside my head, so I decided to just head on to the store in hopes of finding some inspiration there. As soon as I passed by it, I knew it was the right tool for the job...a tissue box. It was the perfect size; not too bulky but also big enough for my tablet to fit inside of it. I wish I would have taken pictures of the steps with my camera, but I was so excited to make this, and honestly I was just figuring out how to make it as I was going along. It's pretty simple though, so I'll try to explain it. 

The part of the tissue box where the tissue would come out of needs to be either against the wall or on the front of the box. This allows for the box to be more tall/narrow rather than facing it up-right as that would make it short/bulky. First I cut the side of the box that would be on the top once placed on the wall with some scissors. After doing this, I hot glued some felt sheets on the inside of the box; this step is not entirely necessary, but I just felt more comfortable knowing my phone and tablet would be sitting upon something soft rather than cardboard. Next you can decorate your box however you'd like. I tried to find some extra fabric laying around, but to no avail, so I just covered my tissue box with light pink card stock paper and glued artificial flowers along the edges. Now you need to make holes on either the side or the bottom of the box with an X-acto knife so that your charger cords could go through these holes and into the box. I would be placing two phones and a tablet in my box, so I made three holes along the left side. Once your box is ready you can nail it into the wall. I would suggest not relying on tacks to hold this up, just because electronics are going to be inside of it and you wouldn't want an accident to happen! There were other ways that I thought this box could be held up, such as making two holes on the side of the box that would be along the wall and hanging it up using Command hooks. It all depends on what you feel comfortable with, but you can get creative with it.

This project has made me realize how many things I have in that light pink color...But that's all there is to it! My homemade charging station idea came to life, and I couldn't be more happy with the results!

My New Bedding

After probably about a month of researching comforters, sheets, duvets, and anything you could imagine, I finally have new bedding! Yes, you did read that right; I spent a whole month trying to find the perfect comforter, the perfect sheets, and the best prices. I went through the process of finding something, questioning it, finding something I don't like about it, and then having to start the search all over again...basically I made something way more complicated than it had to be, but it was well worth it because I am in love!

When I initially started looking for a new comforter, I found myself more drawn toward the ones completely covered in flowers and pink hues. But then I realized...Thai probably wouldn't want to sleep in such a girly comforter, and in a few years I would think that my bedding looks too "childish". I came to my senses and started looking for something more gender-neutral and mature. I decided that a white comforter is perfect to be considered gender-neutral and mature, and I would bring the hint of color into my room with the sheets. That's where this ensemble came from! I know that it still looks pretty girly, but I just couldn't resist, and Thai told me that this amount of girly-ness is fine with him. Besides, I also figured that since my comforter is white and versatile, if I tire of the girly-ness of the sheets, I could just change the sheets rather than having to completely change my bedding! Win-win!

At first I bought the Simply Shabby Chic Ruched Comforter Set from Target, but when it arrived I could tell I would hate it without even taking it out of the bag, The fabric just felt so cheap and the stuffing was extremely thin. I returned it immediately. I then found the Sidney Comforter Set in White from Bed Bath and Beyond, and it is just lovely! The fabric is 10x better than the one I bought from Target and it is way thicker. Another plus is that it comes with three decorative pillows. With the 20% off discount I received from their mobile text offers, this purchase was a steal! As I mentioned before, I feel as though this comforter is really versatile. It could be girl'd up by pairing it with pink sheets and pillows, but it could also easily suit a more mature bedroom by pairing it up with neutral colored sheets and pillows! Although the Simply Shabby Chic line from Target disappointed me with their comforter, they redeemed themselves with the Simply Shabby Chic Sheet Set in Pink Rose. Let me tell you, it is extremely hard to find pink sheets outside of kids bedding, and those are usually twin sizes! These simply adorable sheets are not too flimsy but also not too crisp; they are just perfect for me.

I feel as though I'm sleeping on a cloud with this new bedding! It's so beautiful and fluffy and girly and...I just absolutely love it. 

Shadow's Prey

This world I cannot spin upon the tips of my fingers.

Out of my control, the seasons come and go:

Icicle tears of Winter chiseling down my cheeks,

Spring rains weathering away things that I once held dear,

The Summer Sun setting ablaze fragments that remain,

and Fall, so deceiving with it's colors,

enchanting hues of burgundy and gold,

constructed to signify change: a new beginning...

All it really means is death.

I can feel the darkness curling around my ankles,

drowning me down into the oh so familiar abyss.

A fool was I to believe I had lost this darkness,

because you can never run from your shadow.

Wintertime Sadness

I miss the sun. This cold weather has made me feel really depressed. If you're wondering if I actually stayed consistent with the workout journal I posted, I did. I actually was doing really good. A post about it was going to come soon, but then this cold weather came in and all motivation was lost. I stopped working out, and I felt so unaccomplished that I decided to just forget about posting it. I tried to stay motivated, but sitting out there shivering, cold air piercing my lungs and making my nose numb, all while looking around and seeing nothing but grey clouds in the sky...it just really made me feel empty. Grey, everything was so grey...And it makes me feel even worse that everyone around me is so excited for this cold weather. Why? It's so lifeless; so colorless; so depressing. Every time I'm outside it feels as though I'm rushing to get out of the cold. I've learned to appreciate the heat of the warmer seasons, and I miss it oh so much. Spring, please come soon...

I'd like to blame it all on the weather, but I know this feeling goes deeper than that. Apathy is what I feel most days now. I want to disappear. All of my social media sites have been deactivated, and I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing. I don't really see the point in having social media. It's just a stupid platform to make people feel validated and worthy by the amount of likes they receive. And even if my posts would get likes and comments, I still didn't feel fulfilled, because all of them were mostly people who I don't give a damn about and who don't give a damn about me. Which is why I made this blog. I only expected a handful of people, maybe three or four, to actually be interested in keeping up with my life. I gave them the link to my blog, but I know that most likely they don't read it. So here's to this post that will go unread by any other eyes but mine. And I know, I know, I sound like such a sob-story, but I really just needed a place to let my thoughts out.

I don't want to feel this way, and I feel as though there's nothing I can do to stop it. I realized that I was trying hard to find a distraction, because I kept going on and on about "finding a hobby", which is where the idea of working out and wanting to get back into photography came from. But this cold weather has taken the joy of working out away from me. Getting into a hobby definitely won't hurt, so I may be getting a new camera on Black Friday, and we'll see how getting my passion back for photography goes. I hate to admit it, but part of me wishes I could go see a doctor to talk about medication. I used to think, "No! You shouldn't have to rely on medication to feel 'normal'.", but I've changed my mind about that. The way I used to think made it seem as though I thought people who took medication for their mental illnesses weren't 'trying' to find a natural way to help themselves, but now I see that it really isn't their fault. In fact, going to the doctor to get help IS trying. The problem is that there is no way I could afford such help. And that makes me feel trapped.

But I guess at least I still want to try. The moment I give up is when I should really be worried. For now, I'll just try to pull through this. I know that even if the night seems long, the sun will always be there in the morning.

Going Back To My Roots

When I was little I grew up on country music. That's what I would hear in every car ride; that's what I would hear jamming in our tiny living room; that's what I would hear all around me. I can still remember the times I would jam Dixie Chicks in the front yard and dance my heart out. I can still remember the time I put a sad Shania Twain song on while solemnly looking out the living room window when my first grade crush moved away to Florida. It was around middle school that my view on country music started to change. My 6th grade math teacher would allow us to take turns choosing songs to listen to while we were working. To follow everyone else, I would choose the mainstream music of the time such as Akon's 'Lonely' or Gwen Stefani's 'Dirty Escape'. I couldn't tell you the amount of times I heard "Anything but country music" continuously as I grew older. If someone was asked what kind of music they listen to, I would hear the same reply: "I listen to pretty much everything. Except country." Why is country music seen in such a negative light? Why is it considered an embarrassing thing to like country music?

 I can't tell you that I'm exactly innocent from that judgement either. My view on country music changed so drastically that I would look at people as if they were crazy when they told me that they loved country music. My mind would put the automatic "red-neck" impression on that person after becoming aware of the fact that they liked country music. It wasn't until recently that my societal altered view on country music was at last put to rest. A few months ago I was in a car ride with my family, and my sister decided to put on Brad Paisley's 'Letter to Me'. Listening to this beautiful song made me remember all the things that made me love country music when I was younger. Country music has some of the most beautiful lyrics. Country music has some of the most uplifting songs. That 'twang' that I used to find annoying, I now love all over again. I'm going back to my roots. And for some reason it feels as though I've found a part of myself that I didn't even know I had lost.

I'm going to end this post with a few country songs that I just can't get enough of. Try giving them a listen and maybe you'll see why I love this genre all over again. They are all so different but all so great!

Workout Journal (Week 1)

Hey guys! So I decided to try to get back into working out again. I had a whole routine during the summer for a good two to three months, but when the fall semester started for school and I also got a part time job, I couldn't find the motivation to keep working out. :( I've been feeling really sluggish lately and really miss the amazing feeling I got after a good workout, so I decided that I NEED to find time in my schedule somewhere for it.

With my last workout routine, I focused mainly on building muscle with our home gym machine. I told myself that all I needed was to tone up, but the reality was that I just didn't want to do cardio. Despite the fact that so many articles I read stated that I needed to incorporate both weight training and cardio in order to see results, I ignored them and told myself that I didn't need it. I had a specific weight training days for my arms, legs, and chest and a quite extensive ab routine. This time I decided I need to just suck it up and do cardio; in fact, my routine will focus mainly on cardio rather than weight training this time, as you will see from my day to day breakdown. 

Starting back up again was not easy. Taking such a long break from working out changed my excited attitude I developed toward working out back to the dreaded attitude I had before. I didn't expect much on the first day. If you're trying to get back into a workout routine or even just START working out in general, don't get unmotivated. You may say to yourself, "What the hell are these workout freaks talking about when they say they feel amazing after a workout?! I feel like complete, utter shit. How could anyone enjoy this?" It may feel as though you didn't do much and you may think that you're far away from reaching a strong and steady routine, but trust me when I say that it gets easier! Just give your body some time to ease into it, and eventually you'll be able to see what these 'workout freaks' are talking about.

I am honestly at awe with how fast I progressed with my cardio! Here is a breakdown of my week:

Day 1	Day 2	Day 3
60 Seated Bench Presses	60 Seated Bench Presses	60 Seated Bench Presses
60 Triceps Pushdowns	60 Triceps Pushdowns	60 Triceps Pushdowns
60 Leg Extensions	60 Leg Extensions	60 Leg Extensions
200 Jumping Jacks	300 Jumping Jacks	800 Jumping Jacks

As you can see, I didn't increase my weight training exercises. Because I want my routine to focus mainly on cardio, I tried to avoid overworking myself with the weights and then becoming too exhausted to have a good cardio workout. This week may not seem so amazing to some people, but knowing myself and just how much I absolutely despise cardio, I can't help but feel proud of my progress. I felt extremely exhausted after doing 200 jumping jacks my first day, and to see that number multiply by four on my last day and knowing that I didn't even feel as exhausted as I did on the first, I know I'm on the road to getting somewhere. Now I did not do those hundreds of jumping jacks all in a row. Like I said, you have to let your body ease into it. On Day 1 and Day 2 I did reps of 20 jumping jacks, and by Day 3 I increased the reps to 25 jumping jacks. I feel as though this is the best way to build endurance and also allow your body to do the most it can do without wearing itself out.  

Once Upon A Time

Oh, how she believed she had it all,

when everything she had was far from that.

It was what she thought was the best it could get

in a world where she was told fairy tales couldn't exist.

She was told that the sparks and the fireworks weren't real

in this world that was known as "reality".

She reminded herself to not waste time on dreams,

for "Time spent on dreams is time wasted."

Then once upon a time, a boy came into her life,

and everything stated to change.

She didn't understand his familiarity,

until she realized he was the prince from her dreams.

With him she felt her cheeks kissed by roses,

and the warmth of the sun tickled her skin.

The Prince of the Rising Sun opened her eyes to the world

in all its shining, shimmering, splendid.

With rain drop kisses and moonlight dances,

you would never guess that their love was forbidden.

It was them against them all, well; they all could have that world,

for a whole new world they would create together.

So the clock struck midnight and the moon shined bright above,

painting shades of blue upon both their faces.

In that moment time had stopped, or perhaps time had just started,

because at last he was hers and she was his.

So my Prince, it is because of you that I believe in true wonder;

for three years now you have proven it true.

I have loved every moment since the first, till the last,

because, love, my happily ever after is with you.